Welcome!
Welcome to my blog! This is the first time I've ever had a blog but now just seems like the right time. Who knows where it will lead.
So, your probably wondering why I chose the title "Reflections from the Hills?" Well, it is a play on Psalms 121:1-2, "I lift my up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth." You see, I have been struggling a lot lately. My marriage is not what I want it to be, I always feel lost and as if something "just isn't right." I've been asking God to show me what is going on and, you know, sometimes you get more than you ask for. So here is what He has shown me, (and forgive me if this rattles on a bit but I'm new at this)
First, the problem with my marriage, isn't him, as in Dear Hubby or DH (well, some of it but he isn't here, I am so God is dealing with me-Ouch!). God showed me that while I have been railing on DH about his priorities, mine were pretty out of whack, too. Sure I was being all holy about it, I mean, he is the "head of the household" and a dutiful wife "submits to her husband," but what I was ignoring was that women are not called to submit to unholy things. Not going to church because he didn't take me was not an acceptable excuse to God. If my mother had played this card, I would probably never have gone to church because my Dad didn't go with us until I was 12! Lucky for me, she didn't submit to him on that one and just went with out him. Was is hard for her, I'm sure it was. Were their days she just wanted to lie in bed on Sunday because he did, no doubt. Did she ever? No, there is not one time I remember her saying we weren't going to church on Sunday, not once. Yet here I am, using all those as an excuse. Why, well I married a Christian, she didn't so some how that makes it different-WRONG! God finally made me see that I was using DH as an excuse, one that I could no longer use without major conviction coming my way. So, yesterday on Easter Sunday, I went to church alone (well, not completely, I took my baby daughter but she's only 12 weeks old). It was not easy and I had to fight tears most of the time, but I was there and by the end of the service I was beginning to feel better, healed, wholer.
Which brings me to this morning, while I was taking my morning bath, God and I were talking. (We talk a lot in the bathtub, it's the only time and place I am alone and can concentrate, I highly recommend it for busy moms!) I began with my usual, "God, I don't know what to do, please change him, blah, blah, blah) I told Him how much I wished things were different when he brought Psalms 121:1-2 to my head and showed me that the problem was I was too dependent on DH to meet my needs. While I may not be putting my job or self above God (as I like accuse him of ), I had put my husband first. I always followed his lead, regardless of its spiritual soundess. I looked to him for all my security and worth. I expected him to always have the answers and when he didn't, my world would turn upside down. Through Ps 121:1-2 God reminded me, my help comes from the Lord, not from him. I was depending on DH to help me get out of bed and go to church on Sunday, yet I didn't expect this from him any other day of the week. I was looking to him for help in feeling financially secure, yet I was not being responsible with what God had given me nor was I looking to Him for any security--it all came from DH! Talk about a tall order! I was asking DH to take on the job of the Creator of the Universe (to really get the affect, say that in that same tone He-man always got introduced) no wonder our marriage was on the rocks. Which brings me to this realization, my help comes from the Lord, not DH, not the government, not society, not stuff, not money--the Lord period. So here was my answer, I have to stop depending on DH for my help, I have to turn to the Lord. Easy, no, doable, has to be, will it work, absolutely.
So hence the name of this blog, by reflecting on the hills, I realize that my problem was what was wrong with DH, my priorities were out of place. I was looking in the wrong direction for help. My help has to now come from the Lord, the only one who can truly supply it. My purpose here it chronicle my journey from being dependent on DH to dependent on the Lord. (It is also where my screen name comes from, Lady being a title given to noble women because princess sounded a bit to pretentious). Now, DH doesn't know any of this, he's still at work, so tomorrow I'll let you know how it goes but I'm hoping I'll have more revelation from the hills for you. Guess I better get out my hiking boots!
So, your probably wondering why I chose the title "Reflections from the Hills?" Well, it is a play on Psalms 121:1-2, "I lift my up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth." You see, I have been struggling a lot lately. My marriage is not what I want it to be, I always feel lost and as if something "just isn't right." I've been asking God to show me what is going on and, you know, sometimes you get more than you ask for. So here is what He has shown me, (and forgive me if this rattles on a bit but I'm new at this)
First, the problem with my marriage, isn't him, as in Dear Hubby or DH (well, some of it but he isn't here, I am so God is dealing with me-Ouch!). God showed me that while I have been railing on DH about his priorities, mine were pretty out of whack, too. Sure I was being all holy about it, I mean, he is the "head of the household" and a dutiful wife "submits to her husband," but what I was ignoring was that women are not called to submit to unholy things. Not going to church because he didn't take me was not an acceptable excuse to God. If my mother had played this card, I would probably never have gone to church because my Dad didn't go with us until I was 12! Lucky for me, she didn't submit to him on that one and just went with out him. Was is hard for her, I'm sure it was. Were their days she just wanted to lie in bed on Sunday because he did, no doubt. Did she ever? No, there is not one time I remember her saying we weren't going to church on Sunday, not once. Yet here I am, using all those as an excuse. Why, well I married a Christian, she didn't so some how that makes it different-WRONG! God finally made me see that I was using DH as an excuse, one that I could no longer use without major conviction coming my way. So, yesterday on Easter Sunday, I went to church alone (well, not completely, I took my baby daughter but she's only 12 weeks old). It was not easy and I had to fight tears most of the time, but I was there and by the end of the service I was beginning to feel better, healed, wholer.
Which brings me to this morning, while I was taking my morning bath, God and I were talking. (We talk a lot in the bathtub, it's the only time and place I am alone and can concentrate, I highly recommend it for busy moms!) I began with my usual, "God, I don't know what to do, please change him, blah, blah, blah) I told Him how much I wished things were different when he brought Psalms 121:1-2 to my head and showed me that the problem was I was too dependent on DH to meet my needs. While I may not be putting my job or self above God (as I like accuse him of ), I had put my husband first. I always followed his lead, regardless of its spiritual soundess. I looked to him for all my security and worth. I expected him to always have the answers and when he didn't, my world would turn upside down. Through Ps 121:1-2 God reminded me, my help comes from the Lord, not from him. I was depending on DH to help me get out of bed and go to church on Sunday, yet I didn't expect this from him any other day of the week. I was looking to him for help in feeling financially secure, yet I was not being responsible with what God had given me nor was I looking to Him for any security--it all came from DH! Talk about a tall order! I was asking DH to take on the job of the Creator of the Universe (to really get the affect, say that in that same tone He-man always got introduced) no wonder our marriage was on the rocks. Which brings me to this realization, my help comes from the Lord, not DH, not the government, not society, not stuff, not money--the Lord period. So here was my answer, I have to stop depending on DH for my help, I have to turn to the Lord. Easy, no, doable, has to be, will it work, absolutely.
So hence the name of this blog, by reflecting on the hills, I realize that my problem was what was wrong with DH, my priorities were out of place. I was looking in the wrong direction for help. My help has to now come from the Lord, the only one who can truly supply it. My purpose here it chronicle my journey from being dependent on DH to dependent on the Lord. (It is also where my screen name comes from, Lady being a title given to noble women because princess sounded a bit to pretentious). Now, DH doesn't know any of this, he's still at work, so tomorrow I'll let you know how it goes but I'm hoping I'll have more revelation from the hills for you. Guess I better get out my hiking boots!
Comments